People in love make me want to vomit
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
