Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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