I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
