the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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