So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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