You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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