Sober January is a disaster.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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