office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
