So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
