And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
