OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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