Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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