We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
