I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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