I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
