Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
