She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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