ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
