she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
