i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
