I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
