My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
