you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
