I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
