my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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