so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
