I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
