But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
