I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
