I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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