I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
