made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
