wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
