Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
