Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
