The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
