literally had 100 drinks last night.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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