Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I need to sanitize my soul.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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