u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
false alarm, still single
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