Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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