I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
