I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Princesses don't give blow jobs
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Holy sore nipples Batman
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
there is glitter all over my balls
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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