nut hugger
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
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