omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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