I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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