hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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