allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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