Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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