I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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