I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
