Pappa wants mamma naked
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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