Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
