i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
