Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
